Salt: What we crave in relationships

I want (I need) better relationships, the kind that call my attention to God’s purpose and promise for me. Of course I have different types of friendships. Some go deep and wide. Some lay on the surface at work, next door, online, hoping for more. What’s the secret to of “more?” I’ve been researching this as a scientist, a therapist, minister, and an author of a few relationship psychology books. And to my surprise, one element shows up in every walk of my life: Salt. Seriously? Salt? Now I’ll explain how salt reminds me to build better relationships.

Love Story and our Habit of Saying “I’m Sorry.”

You see we heal by sharing our stories. The words “I’m sorry” are a part of our story that creates new beginnings and hopefully happier endings. The spoken apology is an opening to understanding, which doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation or resolution. Understanding helps us think about how we offend, hurt, or are just simply inconsiderate to others, and how a good apology heals.

A unique way to get in better shape this year

Lately I’ve begun to notice what I call the triceps and biceps of our emotional health: HUMILITY and CURIOSITY. These are different types of muscles that I need to get in shape too! These work together to support our entire emotional well-being. So this year I am resolving to get my physical and mental health in better shape.

A unique way to get in better shape this year

Strength Training! This is the time of year many of us resolve to get back in shape! Admittedly, my shape-up efforts are pretty inconsistent. The results are some poorly defined, weaker muscles like my biceps and triceps, which are needed for just about everything in life. My emotional muscles get out of shape, too. Lately I’ve begun to notice what I call the triceps and biceps of our emotional health: humility and curiosity. These are different types of muscles that work together to support our entire emotional well-being. Strengthening them takes constant work, without which we feel (and look) pretty bad. So this year I am resolving to get my physical and mental health in better shape. Humility is incredibly important. It’s more than polite respect. And don’t mistake it for weakness. Without humility we are not able to fully experience gratitude, compassion, and patience for others. It opens up a world of discovery and improvement – if – we could just be curious enough to consider what others have to offer!

Shaking Things Up: Helpful or Harmful

Life is like a snow globe. It is always-getting-shaken up. And I think today, more than ever, we are caught up in a fast paced,-impatient,-over scheduled lifestyle that has made us more comfortable with commotion -than peace and quiet. We’ve become change junkies living in chronic crisis, even feeling like something is missing without it. Shaking things up can be necessary and valuable. But when it’s an absent-minded-habit it’s more harmful than helpful. Is your personal snow globe beautiful and romantic or confusing and frantic? Whatever the case, it’s always good to return to the still and sacred scene of clarity, comfort, and joy reminding you which way is up.

Celebrate with Light

Now here’s the connection I’ve made between this habit of turning the lights on and making life better and brighter: We celebrate life with lights. Lights hint that something special is happening: Celebrations - are - important to us. We need light to send darkness out. It keeps us from “falling” physically, emotionally, and spiritually. S now, every time you turn on the light, remember to celebrate life. Create a space of positive energy. And, be a light in someone’s life, especially your own.   

The Gratitude Habit

I believe small gestures that really express focused, concentrated appreciation for people will bring out the best in them. When done well, personal thank you notes have a powerful, magical effect. Between the lines they can say, “I’m not only grateful for the gift, I’m grateful for YOU too!”  In our global world more and more friendships live in the virtual world. Our personal, life-sustaining relationships are eroding.  A thank you note can be a gift back to the giver that preserves and builds personal relationships that our survival depends on.  A gift may not change lives.

Pizza, Peace, and Patience: A Habit for Change

What’s the common denominator for change to occur? The common denominator is always about readiness. When something isn’t ready to change under your hand, let it rest. Don’t force people to take the shape you want. Use your best ingredients, warmth, and vision, and then be patient. When you step away and let other’s rest and relax, they will RISE. Read More Here

Bumper Stickers: A Habit of Driving Home Goodwill

Think of a “bumper sticker” that you’re willing to stick to? What’s the timeless message that you want to live and give? What do you want to reveal about yourself? I mean what’s’ the best part of you to share that can help us all?

Wave: A Habit of Appreciation

I think we wait our whole life for big (and small) gestures that express appreciation; signs that remind us we matter, I love you, I’m not going anywhere.  A wave says what words cannot. Make no mistake, when we no longer see the wave, we can still feel it. Find these little opportunities to make people feel good.