What’s the role of anger? Here it is: it should wake us up to what else we’re feeling that we wouldn’t otherwise pay attention to. Anger is like the orange warning light inside your car that says, “Something else is going on. Look inside!” Whatever you're feeling - it all matters. Because you and me, and we, all matter.
We hang on to a lot of painfully destructive stuff that doesn’t add value to our lives but in fact diminishes it. Sometimes we just forget that there’s a lot of unproductive worn-out stuff taking up space in our life. So, choosing carefully what to hold on to and what to let go of is one of the hardest and most important habits to change.
We change because we MUST. It just doesn't happen the way we always want. Here’s what I’m learning about change. My lesson from nature is NOT that we have to wait for change and growth--- I mean we do... But my bigger lesson is that sometimes change is happening in ways that we can’t see. Don't give up on yourself or others. Believe in the process that change has begun in ways that can't be seen - at first. Create the best environment for the change to appear above ground to exist and persist.
I want (I need) better relationships, the kind that call my attention to God’s purpose and promise for me. Of course I have different types of friendships. Some go deep and wide. Some lay on the surface at work, next door, online, hoping for more. What’s the secret to of “more?” I’ve been researching this as a scientist, a therapist, minister, and an author of a few relationship psychology books. And to my surprise, one element shows up in every walk of my life: Salt. Seriously? Salt? Now I’ll explain how salt reminds me to build better relationships.
You see we heal by sharing our stories. The words “I’m sorry” are a part of our story that creates new beginnings and hopefully happier endings. The spoken apology is an opening to understanding, which doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation or resolution. Understanding helps us think about how we offend, hurt, or are just simply inconsiderate to others, and how a good apology heals.
Life is like a snow globe. It is always-getting-shaken up. And I think today, more than ever, we are caught up in a fast paced,-impatient,-over scheduled lifestyle that has made us more comfortable with commotion -than peace and quiet. We’ve become change junkies living in chronic crisis, even feeling like something is missing without it. Shaking things up can be necessary and valuable. But when it’s an absent-minded-habit it’s more harmful than helpful. Is your personal snow globe beautiful and romantic or confusing and frantic? Whatever the case, it’s always good to return to the still and sacred scene of clarity, comfort, and joy reminding you which way is up.
I believe small gestures that really express focused, concentrated appreciation for people will bring out the best in them. When done well, personal thank you notes have a powerful, magical effect. Between the lines they can say, “I’m not only grateful for the gift, I’m grateful for YOU too!” In our global world more and more friendships live in the virtual world. Our personal, life-sustaining relationships are eroding. A thank you note can be a gift back to the giver that preserves and builds personal relationships that our survival depends on. A gift may not change lives.
What’s the common denominator for change to occur? The common denominator is always about readiness. When something isn’t ready to change under your hand, let it rest. Don’t force people to take the shape you want. Use your best ingredients, warmth, and vision, and then be patient. When you step away and let other’s rest and relax, they will RISE. Read More Here