It’s November: open season for Thanksgiving feasts and feasting. What are you hungry for? This holiday season when you sit down at the table, really see your friends. Really notice them. Hear a lot of laughter. Breathe in the Spirit of your faith. Ask your soul, "Are you getting what you crave?" Because when it does, I promise, you will have happy - happier - holidays.
Costumes aren’t just worn in October though, are they? Every time we wear something with a particular logo or label we are making a statement about what we value, and that our opinion matters, and therefore we matter. And based on these appearances we label each other and we are labelled. Here are three ways to resist the irresistible urge to label each other.
Where do expectations come from and how do they become so deeply ingrained in our pursuit of self-worth?
Where do expectations come from and how do they become so deeply ingrained in our pursuit of self-worth? Parents, pastors, peers, and the voices in our head have persuaded us that if we do THIS we will get THAT. This can definitely motivate us, just as it can set us up for disappointment. And disappointment often begs the question, “Why risk being hurt or being a failure again?” Isn’t it easier, and safer, to lower our expectations or give up all together? Well, here’s the secret I’ve found to dealing with disappointment. I’ve discovered a space in between what we expect and what we get. This space is mind-altering and life-changing. This space is called “NOW” where we simply appreciate the life we have in that moment.
The first week of August celebrates National Smile day, and this has me thinking about living a good life and how to help others live better too. he amazing worth we are were created with empowers us to make the world equally amazing with every act and reaction. So smile. This is probably the best habit you can practice because this will change the world.
The first week of August celebrates National Smile day, and this has me thinking about living a good life and how to help others live better too. People, like YOU, can bring out the best in me. And when I know that you can bring out the best in me this acknowledges that there is already good valuable stuff inside. Sure, external people, places, and things can make me feel better, but God hardwired me at the moment of creation with good valuable worth. Imagine our self-worth as a kind of soft-ware God installed in us. And when we power up with it we are able to connect and interact with each other with crazy-good results: we bring out the best in each other. And this brings me back to National Smile week. Smiling releases a flurry of feel good hormones that elevate our mood, decrease stress and reduce anger. And when people see our smile they have brain neurons, called mirror neurons that suggest they smile back. I love how this day illustrates Sir Isaac Newton’s famous law of motion: For every act there will be an equal reaction. The iconic set of swinging silver balls, called Newton’s cradle. It demonstrates how this law works. Whenever we set something in motion (CLICK), there will be a reaction, (CLACK) – for better or worse.
In this month of July we think about freedom. If you’ve ever felt trapped by bad memories freedom takes on additional meaning. Painful memories can rob us of our personal freedom. I have an illustration that will help you transform your bad memories into a lesson easier to absorb.
I’ve watched the Disney movie, Frozen, with my nieces over and over. Elsa taught the world to sing, “Let it go! Let it go! But her song advised us to “turn away and slam the door…” I wish that helped! The belief that we can make our bad memories disappear by slamming the door on them is a fairytale. Out of sight is not the same thing as being out of pain. Slamming the door on bad memories can leave us numb or humiliated. And then something happens that reopens the door and, wow, we have to face and feel the sting all over again. So how do we transform the memories of painful experiences into something not just tolerable but life-affirming? The pain from our memories will stay with us until it has taught us what we need to learn. So rather than pushing them away I’m suggesting the opposite: Lean into them just long enough to discover their lesson. I promise you, the lesson isn’t going to be that you’re alone or a failure. It’s probably going to be about your worth and future success.
What’s the role of anger? Here it is: it should wake us up to what else we’re feeling that we wouldn’t otherwise pay attention to. Anger is like the orange warning light inside your car that says, “Something else is going on. Look inside!” Whatever you're feeling - it all matters. Because you and me, and we, all matter.
Anger steals the show! I’m Dr. Chris. As summer temperatures rise, I’m thinking about the habits I’ve developed when I feel the heat of anger. Anger can help us stand up for ourselves and our importance –and it can also run right over the rights of others. How can we use anger to uncover what we really need and want: respect and affirmation that we all matter? My anger ranges from worry to fury. It is both a beauty and sometimes a beast. It can dream, or silently steam and dramatically scream. Anger looks and sounds different on everyone. But [...]
